The truth is that not all breathing is created equal…

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**This library is updated regularly. New resources are added as I discover them, revisit them, or find myself recommending them repeatedly in practice.

I’m constantly recommending resources to clients, friends, workshop participants, and curious humans. This is my attempt to gather them all in one place.

Rather than trying to be comprehensive, I’ve focused on the resources that have genuinely shaped how I think about embodiment, sexuality, relationships, nervous systems, healing, and desire.

These are the books, podcasts, articles, and ideas I return to again and again in my practice, teaching, and ongoing learning.

This library will continue to grow as I discover new work that feels useful, rigorous, and worth sharing.

If something feels missing, feel free to share it in the comments. I’m always interested in expanding this space in ways that are thoughtful, useful, and accessible to others.

Happy Spiraling.

Jump to:

• Love & Relationships

• Breakups & Heartbreak

• Body Image & Diet Culture

• Desire & Sexuality

• Pleasure

• Masturbation & Self-Pleasure

• Sex Work

• Non-Monogamy

• Feminist Theory

• Menstrual & Vulvar Health

• Nervous System, Trauma & Embodiment

• Aging, Menopause & Later Life

• Queerness & Identity

• Anger & Rage

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One of the first practices I work on with clients as a somatic practitioner is getting on board …

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How hot is the phrase “genital cartographer” though?!

Genital cartography, otherwise known as genital mapping (but cartographer is soooo aunty) is a guided, mindful process of exploring the vulva in order to build body awareness, foster body connection, reduce shame, and support informed sexual agency and self-knowing. It is not necessarily erotic stimulation, though arousal is welcome if it occurs. It’s a therapeutic, educational somatic practice focused on embodiment and nervous-system regulation.

Genital mapping is how we connect to our bodies, and specifically our genitals in a way that is not sexual, not functional, and not medical (listen to this podcast episode on pelvic steaming for more on this) to bring about more loving connection, and more routes to pleasure, through deep knowing of our sexual bodies.

When we genital map alone, we get to know ourselves in an intimate, loving way that builds body-mind connection, understanding, compassion, and curiosity about the wonder of our genitals. But when we genital map together, we normalise our bodies and our genitals, we bring our genitals out of the shadows and shrouds of shame they carry, and we share our experience of curiosity while being held in a sacred container for the purpose of growth, tenderness and self-discovery.

So do you wanna map our pussies together?!

Join the Vulva Mapping Group

I’ll be hosting a live virtual vulva mapping group this Saturday, January 10th 10am AEST. All you need to do to register is become a PAID SUBSCRIBER to speed of trust. That’s it! Once you’re a paid subscriber (Spiraling member) you will be registered, and you’ll receive the link in your email on the day of the group (January 10th, 2026).

Who is this for?

Vulva mapping is for anyone who wants to deepen their understanding of their body and build a more empowered, connected relationship with their sexuality. It can be especially supportive for people who:

• Feel disconnected, numb, or tense in their pelvic or genital region

• Want to learn their anatomy more clearly and confidently

• Are exploring boundaries, consent, or embodied communication

• Carry shame, confusion, or self-judgment about their genitals

• Are curious about somatic or mindful approaches to sexual wellness

• Are returning to their body after birth or another intense, traumatic, or disconnecting experience

• Want to cultivate more presence, comfort, or ease in intimate experiences

• Are seeking non-clinical support in reconnecting with their body

If you’re curious about vulva mapping in a group container, join my virtual Vulva Mapping group and explore this somatic practice in the comfort of your own space while also in a shared space!

January 10th, 2026 12pm AEST

2hr virtual container

Spiraling portal (substack) - become a paid subscriber

To register, join the Spiraling Portal, which is the paid subscription on Speed of Trust (this Substack). Simply become a paid subscriber and get access to the group, as well as all virtual groups (monthly Spiraling containers) I host and all future somatic sex educational content/resources!

By becoming a paid subscriber, you’ll be part of the Spiraling community, which gives you access to the Spiraling group chat, monthly Spiraling virtual containers (a virtual container for femmes & themmes with a lot to say) which will start back up in 2026, and somatic sex education resources created by me.

I will release all Vulva Mapping group information + the link for the container via the Spiraling portal (paid substack), don’t miss out!

In this space we will:

• drop in together somatically to ground

• learn some nervous system regulation + embodiment tools from somatic sexology

• get curious about language and what language feels good for each of us to use to refer to our genitals

• learn about vulva anatomy from a pleasure-based perspective

• spend time curiosity mapping our own bodies alone together (camera on/off choice!!)

• take time to reflect in journals with offered prompts

• close with a share circle

• take some time for Q&A with Tay at the end!

I went to the GP yesterday because I noticed a discolouration on my inner labia and wanted an opinion on it.

I won’t get into the details of how disappointing this GP’s engagement (or lack thereof) with my body was, but what I do want to share is how blown away he was that I look at my vulva.

When I told him about why I was there, he literally said: “how do you know?”

Naturally, I asked him what he meant by this, and he said: “well how could you know you what your vulva looks like?”

Plain and simple, I said: “because I look at my vulva regularly.”

He was blown away.

He wanted to know how I do it, why I do it, how often, everything, as though in his many years of general practice he’d never heard of a person with a vulva looking at their genitals.

And this, my friend, is why vulva mapping is so important.

Building connection with your genitals, taking intentional time to look and get to know your vulva, is necessary not only for being able to notice when something changes, but for having true connection with your body in general.

My friend Nichole Katsikas said recently that most people only have relationships to their genitals if it’s medical, functional, or sexual. And when our genitals only exist to us as a means to an end, or for some specific purpose/outcome, we don’t get to build meaningful, attuned, intentional connection with them, and then it’s no wonder we struggle to feel confidence, pleasure, or sensation when trying to relate to them in other contexts.

Genital Mapping is a key component of Sexological Bodywork and often occurs within the context of a 1:1 session, but I feel that this practice should be a lot more normalised and communal if we’re striving to normalise deeper body connection and release shame. Which I am, by the way, striving to do this.

I’ve had the privilege of engaging in vulva mapping in groups a several times, and each time I find myself thinking “why have we made this so taboo?” Once you sink in, it’s one of the most natural things we as humans might do.

It’s so natural to be in a group of vulva owners, curious about our bodies and sharing the experience together. Many of us have stories about doing this in childhood. And many of us were punished for it.

So I want to open this as a group container where we can sink in, learn about anatomy together, share stories, and then intentionally sink in and get to know our bodies int he comfort of our own space, while also being in a shared space.

Vulva Mapping Group Container

Vulva mapping, within a somatic sex-education framework, is a guided, mindful process of exploring the vulva in order to build body awareness, foster body connection, reduce shame, and support informed sexual agency and self-knowing. It is not necessarily erotic stimulation, though arousal is welcome if it occurs. It’s a therapeutic, educational somatic practice focused on embodiment and nervous-system regulation.

It’s also very important to me that this practice is seen as something that exists beyond gender and that we do it with the intention to get curious about the body as it exists beyond gender, rather than the traditional way we’ve been taught to categorise humans based on genitals.

Here’s a clear, non-graphic explanation of what it involves and why it’s done:

What is vulva mapping?

Vulva mapping is a slow, intentional exploration of the external and internal structures of the vulva, using consensual touch directed by the client, and in this case, self touch. The purpose is to help someone:

• Learn the anatomy of their own vulva (location of anatomical parts and our own unique configurations)

• Understand sensation differences across tissues (areas of comfort, numbness, tension, pain, pleasure)

• Identify emotional responses stored in or triggered by the pelvic region

• Build interoceptive awareness (a sense of “being in” and listening to one’s own body)

• Strengthen boundaries and choice, especially around consent and sexual autonomy

• Learn what feels good and what doesn’t on our own unique bodies

In a Sexological Bodywork context, the emphasis is on education, somatic learning, and self-empowerment.

How it works:

1. Consent and negotiation
Before anything happens, we discuss intentions, boundaries, trauma history (if relevant), and what kinds of touch are welcomed. All contact is client-directed, with the individual choosing if, when, and how exploration happens.

2. Mindfulness and grounding
The client is guided into breathwork and somatic awareness to help them stay present and regulate their nervous system throughout the experience.

3. Anatomical mapping
The practitioner/facilitator supports the individual to become aware of where things are on their own bodies.

This can be done through verbal guidance, self-touch, and/or practitioner touch through gloves if the work is in person. The client shares and describes sensations and emotions as they arise.

4. Sensation and emotional mapping
Clients often discover:

• Areas that feel numb or disconnected

• Places that are tense, painful, or reactive

• Areas that feel good or soothing

• Emotions such as shame, grief, neutrality, pleasure, or curiosity

The goal is not to “fix” anything but rather, to notice.

5. Integration
Like Savasana at the end of a yoga practice, we take time to do nothing and be present with what we’ve just experienced and land in the body. The practitioner may help the client make meaning of what they noticed, and integrate the experience into their sense of bodily autonomy, sexuality, and self-understanding.

Why vulva mapping is used:

• Rebuilds positive body awareness for people disconnected from their genitals

• Improves communication and consent skills by practicing choice and boundaries

• Supports healing from shame or misinformation about genital anatomy

• Helps with sexual functioning by improving pelvic floor awareness

• Provides accurate education for people who never received it

• To reconnect to sensation and stay present by staying curious and describing what one is experiencing

Who is this for?

Vulva mapping is for anyone who wants to deepen their understanding of their body and build a more empowered, connected relationship with their sexuality. It can be especially supportive for people who:

• Feel disconnected, numb, or tense in their pelvic or genital region

• Want to learn their anatomy more clearly and confidently

• Are exploring boundaries, consent, or embodied communication

• Carry shame, confusion, or self-judgment about their genitals

• Are curious about somatic or mindful approaches to sexual wellness

• Are returning to their body after birth or another intense, traumatic, or disconnecting experience

• Want to cultivate more presence, comfort, or ease in intimate experiences

• Are seeking non-clinical support in reconnecting with their body

Vulva mapping is an educational, body-based practice designed to meet people of all genders with vulvas at any stage of life who are curious about gentle, safe, consent-centered exploration.

Join the Vulva Mapping container

If you’re curious about vulva mapping in a group container, join my virtual Vulva Mapping group and explore this somatic practice in the comfort of your own space while also in a shared space!

January 10th, 2026 12pm AEST

2hr virtual container

Spiraling portal (substack) - become a paid subscriber

To register, join the Spiraling Portal, which is the paid subscription on Speed of Trust (this Substack). Simply become a paid subscriber and get access to the group, as well as all virtual groups (monthly Spiraling containers) I host and all future somatic sex educational content/resources!

Subscribe now

By becoming a paid subscriber, you’ll be part of the Spiraling community, which gives you access to the Spiraling group chat, monthly Spiraling virtual containers (a virtual container for femmes & themmes with a lot to say) which will start back up in 2026, and somatic sex education resources created by me.

I will release all Vulva Mapping group information + the link for the container via the Spiraling portal (paid substack), don’t miss out!

In this space we will:

• drop in together somatically to ground

• learn some nervous system regulation + embodiment tools from somatic sexology

• get curious about language and what language feels good for each of us to use to refer to our genitals

• learn about vulva anatomy from a pleasure-based perspective

• spend time curiosity mapping our own bodies alone together (camera on/off choice!!)

• take time to reflect in journals with offered prompts

• close with a share circle

• take some time for Q&A with Tay at the end!

Subscribe now

Welcome to Spiraling

Spiraling is the paid subscriber space inside speed of trust, and the most direct way to access my ongoing work as a Somatic Sexologist and founder of SomaPoetica.

It is where I share the ideas, practices, conversations, and resources that sit behind my clinical work, teaching, writing, and creative practice.

Here, you’ll find exclusive podcast episodes, educational videos, somatic practices, curated resources, and a private community chat exploring embodiment, somatic sexology, sexuality, relationships, creativity, and what it means to be a curious, more authentic human.

Spiraling intends not to cosplay as perfect, finished answers, but as an evolving body of my work.

Explore Taylor's Library

Why I created Spiraling

For people who want to go deeper into embodiment, somatic sexology, sexuality, relationships, and self-understanding.

It’s also where I share the work behind the work: the ideas I’m currently exploring, the books I can’t stop recommending, the somatic practices I return to again and again with clients, and the conversations I wish more people were having.

As a Somatic Sexologist and founder of SomaPoetica, I’m constantly learning, researching, reading, practicing, teaching, and asking questions. Spiraling is where I get to share all of that with you.

Much of my work doesn’t fit into social media, workshops, or 1:1 sessions.

Spiraling exists as a place to gather what would otherwise be fragmented:

the research, the questions, the practices I return to with clients, the books I’m currently thinking through, and the ongoing exploration of embodiment, sexuality, relationships, and what it means to be in a body.

This is not quick content for consumption or a big expensive commitment, it’s a living archive of practice, inquiry, and embodiment, with the intention of making somatic work more accessible, approachable, and aligned with our actual human lives.

What You’ll Receive

Exclusive speed of trust podcast

Subscriber-only podcast episodes exploring embodiment, sexuality, intimacy, pleasure, relationships, creativity, healing, and the beautifully messy experience of being human.

Educational Videos & Teachings

Practical, accessible learning drawn from my work in somatic sexology, embodiment, intimacy, pleasure, emotional wellbeing, and body-based healing.

Somatic Practices

Guided exercises, embodiment tools, journal prompts, and nervous system resources designed to help you build a more connected relationship with yourself and your body.

Taylor’s Library

An ever-growing collection of my favourite books, articles, podcasts, essays, films, research, and resources across somatics, sexuality, psychology, relationships, creativity, and personal growth.

Essentially, all the things I wish someone had handed me years ago.

Explore Taylor's Library

Community Chat

A private space to ask questions, share reflections, connect with other subscribers, and continue the conversation beyond the posts.

This Space Is For You If...

• You’re curious about somatic work, embodiment, and somatic sexology

• You want practical tools for connecting more deeply with your body

• You’re interested in sexuality, pleasure, intimacy, relationships, and emotional wellbeing

• You enjoy thoughtful conversations that go beyond surface-level self-help

• You love learning and want access to carefully curated resources

• You want a more intimate connection to my work beyond social media

This work is not about becoming more “fixed,” more “healed,” or always even “more regulated.” It is about developing a deeper relationship with your body, your patterns, your desire, and your experience of being human.

Welcome to Spiraling: the deeper end of speed of trust.

Subscribe now

And it's so interesting that I've wound up with a chest cold this week, because I've just released a new offering that's all about connecting to the chest/breasts?!

Currently I feel so much pressure and congestion in my chest, and though it's uncomfortable, it feels like a potent reminder that I still need intentional space and time to connect to my heart space... this new offering is for me, too.

I never had much of a relationship to my chest/breasts until about 4 years ago.

Up until then, my relationship with my chest/breasts was mostly rooted in being a teen and wearing two bras to try and make them look bigger, and then kind of giving up on the dream of having the type of cleavage girls sought circa 2012-2016 with the VS double push-ups and Kardashian hour glass bodies being peak "hot girl shit."

I tried strapping the ultra padded bras that felt like pillows to my chest to feel more desirable, and I tried wearing the low cut tops out to house parties like my friends, and every time I tried to bring attention to my chest I just felt so weird about being in my body. Friends would compliment me when I showed cleavage, saying things like “where did those come from Tay?” and I would laugh along with them and fake a sense of pride in my exposed tiddies. Really, I felt super weird and would keep adjusting my shirt to try and get it to sit right when all I wanted was to put on a hoodie. I didn't have the words for it then, though I'd learn much later that what I was feeling was body dysmorphia.

Eventually I just dissociated from my chest.

I stopped wearing bras, not necessarily because it became trendy but more-so because it felt more comfortable, more authentic, to give as little attention to my breasts as possible. I remember being in change rooms in my early teens trying on clothes, and I would always try things on without a bra, and then sigh when I thought of having to wear a bra when I’d actually wear this thing in public, and then I’d take it off, feeling defeated, and I wouldn’t bother buying it.

I rarely touched my breasts myself, and I rarely let partners touch them. They were just there, hanging from my body, these extra sacks of fat that I didn't necessarily hate, but definitely didn't love. I felt completely indifferent to them, and this was how we co-existed for years.

I got my nipples pierced to make them “prettier” when I was 21 on a whim with my college roommate, and this worked, actually. I started not minding the way they looked with jewellery attached and I felt more comfortable naked, but I still never really bothered or encouraged much connection or attention to them. They were just there, which was what I’d refer to as a body neutrality mindset - not loving, but not hating, just co-existing with.

In 2021, I did a 4-week somatic pleasure course with Stella called Pleasure Within, and for one of the weeks we focused on the chest/breasts and connecting physically to this part of our bodies.

I was living in my van at the time, and I remember saying to myself before I opened the zoom call, "maybe I'll skip this one. It doesn't feel like it's for me."

But for some reason I didn't skip it, I joined the zoom call from my friend's bedroom in Portland OR. After we spent some time chatting and learning from Stella about the connection between breasts and heart, the societal conditioning held by our breasts that disconnects us from this part of the body through shame, “good girl” conditioning, internalised Madonna/Whore thinking, and how connection to the chest can deeply enrich our sexual experiences, she guided us into a somatic self-massage practice to connect to our breasts.

So there I was, in a new friend’s basement bedroom in Portland, topless on the floor beside a lamp, rubbing coconut oil into my breasts to moody lo-fi music with a group of other femmes on zoom while everyone watched TV upstairs.

After a while, I exhaled fully and let myself be guided into a self-massage I had never explored before. I was shocked by how intimate it felt, to touch my chest in this new, loving, completely present way. They'd always been there, and yet my breasts had never felt so alive, so activated. They'd never felt actually connected to my body, or my pleasure, in this way.

At some point, Stella said "the breasts are an extension of the heart," and this is what really shifted my perspective. I had never thought of it like that.

To me, my breasts had always felt like an extremely gendered, sexualized part of my body, and because of this, I had spent years in this strained, somewhat numb relationship to them. When I realised I was non-binary, I chalked this disconnection from my chest up to simply not wanting to be read as a woman, and that made sense for a while. But when I took the time and space to connect intentionally, it became clear that my breasts weren’t the source of my body dysmorphia - it was the stories I had around what they meant, that made me feel uncomfortable in my body.

Up to that point, my breasts symbolised the very gendered and sexualised way I was perceived in the world. They made a statement about my identity I hadn’t consented to in a world that loves to tell femme people who they are and how they should behave.

Subconsciously, my breasts had carried all of the double takes made by men as I walked down the street, the unwelcome hands grazing my hips as I’d been passed in bars or cafe lines, the weird, suggestive comments made in my work places, the mechanics that hadn’t taken me seriously only the day before, all of the times I’d been taught through gestures and jokes that I’m more valuable when my body fits a certain size, all of the fawning I’d done to keep myself safe, and all of the times that the fawning didn’t work.

Somehow, because the breasts are one of the most markedly “feminine” parts of my body, to connect to them meant accepting, or surrendering to, all of the bullshit that comes with being in a femme body as “just part of life,” simply because I have them. To ignore them gave me a sense of numbness to the violence implied by being in a femme body. To connect to them was to connect, and really feel, the weight of it.

Of course it was easier to dissociate.

But if connecting to the breasts is an extension of connecting to the heart space, then connecting to my breasts, connecting to my heart space, doesn’t necessarily have to be about connecting to being a “woman.” It can be about connecting to my heart. And what might be possible from learning to really, physically, connect to my heart?

After this first experience of being guided through a safe, loving somatic practice for connecting to my heart, I was able to see my breasts in an entirely new, non-gendered, blank canvas type of way. If the breasts are an extension of the heart, then I get to work on a brand new relationship to my heart through touch and attention, I get to re-write the scripts, the stories, that live here. My own touch on this part of my body that had been stolen from me, felt like coming home. It felt safe and nourishing, and it allowed me to feel a lot more comfort in my body overall, because there was no longer this part of it I was avoiding.

Not only did this new way of connecting to my chest unravel the invisible caution tape I had placed around my breasts, it also allowed me to involve my breasts in solo and partnered sex, and it even allowed me to find joy in having my breasts become part of my gender expression.

This became even more interesting when I started performing burlesque.

I had always shied away from wearing the gendered garments of traditional burlesque attire, not wanting to draw attention to this part of my body that even I didn't fully understand. I felt weary of wearing bras in general, so to bedazzle and don a flashy “look at me” garment on my chest felt completely unnatural, so much so that I decided burlesque just wasn’t for me.

When I started to practice more connection to my breasts as an extension of my heart space however, my gender expression began to include my chest, not necessarily in a conventional showgirl way, but in a way that felt exciting and organic for me, and I was able to create my own costumes for burlesque that felt aligned with how I felt about my chest and how I wanted to be seen.

I also kind of became the queen of popping pasties and baring my nipples in public venues by accident, which then started to become intentional. Because my journey with my breasts had been so much about removing the gendered narratives around them and reclaiming this part of me as an extension of my heart, covering my nipples felt more and more tied to the sexualised gender norms that differ between male and female chests. If I performed in a venue where male nipples were seen, then my nipples simply would be seen, too.

Now, as a clinical somatic therapist, I notice how often the chest or breasts come up for clients when we discuss body image, how seemingly folks of all genders, orientations, shapes and sized feel some type of way about their chest.

Male clients are terrified of having “man boobs” and what that says about them, so they either hit the gym hard or hide in bulky clothing. Femme clients struggle between “too big” and “too small” or saggy, lop-sided, weird, annoying, flat, and wishing to just cut them off. Non-binary clients and folks of other genders often feel like their chest is the first thing to either give away their assigned gender at birth, or the first thing to poke a hole in the gender they’re presenting as, or the first thing they want to help validate their gender. However they look, our chests make bold statements about our identity before we’ve opened our mouth.

With age, we want breasts, and then we don’t want them, and then we want them to be as they were when we were young and didn’t want them. With professionalism, we get dressed based on the size of our breasts, because a top that appears “slutty” on someone with big tiddies is “modest and professional” on someone smaller. With fashion, we rarely find styles made particularly for a voluptuous-chested babe, and even the lower-cut styles are designed not to have much going on, but then we hear “you look like a boy” or “you’re flat” when we wear them on chests that resemble what we see on runways. We get called “top-heavy” or “bottom-heavy” depending on our ratio of ass-to-boob, we hold them up, down, apart and together with tape and wires and compression. No matter what they’re doing, they’re wrong. And most folks that wear bras can’t wait to get home and take it off at the end of the day.

So, what would it be like to release your chest from all of that, even for a moment?

What would it be like to connect with your chest exactly as you are?

What would it be like to hold space, and reverence, for all that our chests carry, all of the generations of breasts before you that were categorised, labeled, and owned because of them?

What would it be like to wipe the slate clean, settle in, and connect to the heart of what makes you, you, that lives underneath them?

What’s left when you strip away all the cultural narratives, the societal gaze and beliefs projected onto your body, and instead connect inward in a way that feels safe, affirming, and aligned?

How do you feel in your body, when you get to feel authentically?

Join us for Heartspace

JOIN HEART SPACE

A 90-minute guided somatic self-massage practice to reconnect with your breasts and heart space.

Together, we’ll explore what it means to be in our bodies in a way that feels aligned, pleasure-based, and most importantly, ours.

Through reflection, somatic practices, and guided self-touch, we’ll begin to peel back the layers - softening into what’s true, what’s yours, and releasing all that’s been weighing on your chest for so long.

Whether you're longing for deeper connection or simply curious, you're welcome here.

This is a space for self-tending, embodied presence, and community care.

HEART SPACE
Tuesday, July 8th
7:00–8:30pm EST
Online (Replay available)

JOIN HEART SPACE

What to Expect:

• Somatic practices to support deeper connection

• Reflective journaling prompts

• Space for sharing (optional)

• Emotional processing and expression

• Invitations for self-touch (optional)

• A longer guided self-massage focused on the chest/breasts

This is for you if:

• You’re curious about exploring this part of your body

• You desire a more tender, authentic relationship to your chest/breasts

• You carry pain, shame, or disconnection here

• You want to unpack cultural narratives and reclaim your body’s truth

• You’re interested in somatic tools, self-touch, or expanding your relationship to pleasure

Hosted by myself and Stella Artuso, the incredible human that introduced me to this practice.

Join us in reclaiming your body, your breasts, and your heart.

Save your spot now!